100 classic films in two minutes

Film buffs and pop culture junkies rejoice. What a great montage this is. The editing must have taken forever. On the YouTube comment section, someone posted a pretty complete list of the films they recognized in the montage. I filled in the ones in bold, but the remaining clips that I don't know are bugging me. Like Sean Penn with the mustache. That horror flick with the red-faced monster. The guy with the pantyhose on his head, followed by Al Pacino looking like a detective. I was a film major, dammit. and I probably watch an average of five or six films a week. I should know all of these.

1. Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof (2007)
2. Bulworth (1998)
3. Desperately Seeking Susan(1985)
4. The Wizard (1989)
5. Lethal Weapon 2 (1989)
6. The Wonder Boys (2000)
7. There Will Be Blood (2007)
8. The Usual Suspects (1995)
9. Raising Arizona (1987)
10.
11.
12. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
13. Caligula (1979)
14.
15. The Devil's Rejects (1995)
16.
17. L.A. Confidential (1997)
19. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
20. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
21. Titanic (1997)
22. John Carpenter's The Thing (1982)
23. Apocalypse Now (1979)
24. Zodiac (2007)
25. Die Hard (1988)
26. Jaws (1975)
27. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
28. Sleeper (1973)
29. Glory (1989)
30. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
31. Swimming With Sharks (1994)
32. V for Vendetta (2006)
33.
34. Born on the 4th of July (1989)
35. The In-Laws (1979)
39. Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987)
40. Jacob's Ladder (1990)
41. Coffy (1973)
42. Secretary (2002)
43. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
44. Hard Eight (1996)
45.
46. Blow Out (1981)
47. Short Cuts (1993)
48. Philadelphia (1993)
49. Ed Wood (1994)
50. Psycho (1960)
51. Star Wars - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
52. The Age of Innocence (1993)
53. Quiz Show (1994)
54. 21 Grams (2003)
55. The French Connection (1971)
56. Unbreakable (2000)
57. Easy Rider (1969)
58.
59.
60. The Exorcist (1973)
61.
62.
63. Trainspotting (1996)
64. Play It Again, Sam (1972)
65. Se7en (1995)
66. Ghostbusters (1984)
67. Back to the Future (1985)
68. About Schmidt (2002)
69. Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)
70. Chinatown (1974)
71. American Graffitti (1973)
72. The Godfather Part II (1974)
73. The Wizard of Oz (1939)
74. The Deer Hunter (1978)
75. Boogie Nights (1997)
76. Dr. Strangelove or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb (1964)
77. Barton Fink (1991)
78.
79.
80. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
81. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
82. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
83. JFK (1991)
84. The Graduate (1967)
85. The Fisher King (1991)
86. Forrest Gump (1994)
87. No Country For Old Men (2007)
88. A Clockwork Orange (1971)
89. Dog Day Afternoon (1975)
90. Schindler's List (1993)
91.
92.
93. Pulp Fiction (1994)
94. Nashville (1975)
95. The Insider (1999)
97. Midnight Cowboy (1969)
98. GoodFellas (1990)
99. magnolia (1999)
100. Ocean's Eleven (2001)

Men and their dogs

The photo folder on my computer is sorted alphabetically. Interestingly, these three pictures were all right next to each other and the three of them together looked kind of cool.

These are three friends of mine. One is a model, one is a music festival producer, and one works in finance. How different they all are, yet how the same when it comes to love for their dogs, Greta; Charlie (as in Parker) and Monk (as in Thelonius); and Whiskey.

I want to live in a doorman building

I quit my job and am no longer living in the West Village. Temporarily, I'm staying with a friend of mine who lives on Park Avenue in the 70s. It's so posh up here I'm experiencing culture shock. The penthouse suite of my friend's building was once occupied by Elizabeth Taylor and later Robin "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" Leech. It's pretty swanky, and I have to admit I'm getting spoiled by the doormen.

Every time you come in or leave, they smile as their white-gloved hands open the door. I went out the other night with some bags and he hailed a cab for me and put my bags in the trunk. They deliver the mail and newspaper to your front door. There's an elevator guy who pushes the button for you because God forbid your finger might be too tired to do it on its own! They pick up your dry-cleaning and deliver it right back into your apartment. They carry packages and grocery bags up (at this I draw the line, though).

I could get used to this doorman building living. Real easily.

R.I.P. George Carlin

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NJ Transit

I rode the New Jersey Transit for the first time recently. I took a 5:30 rush hour train from Penn Station out to Trenton where my friend picked me up. Being a non-commuter, I was surprised by how many people packed onto the train. I was also surprised at how damn pushy and aggro these people were to board FIRST and FASTER before anyone else. One woman shoved ahead of me as if competing for the prize of Sole Golden Throne Private Sleeping Dining Car Complete With Servants, Wine Cellar and Surround Sound In-Train Theater. Weird. But the strangest behavior I witnessed occurred as we approached the Princeton stop. The conductor made an announcement, the first in our whole almost-hour-long journey: "Please do not block the vestibule. Standing in the vestibule will only delay the conductor and prevent him from doing his job efficiently. Please keep the vestibules clear." I guess the vestibule on a train is the weird little nether-region in between cars where the doors are. Then I realized why he had made that announcement. A good five or ten minutes before we even reached Princeton, people started lining up in the aisle to wait for the train to stop. I'm talking a good fifteen or twenty people in my car alone, not just a few of these Type A's. They just stood there, swaying and waiting, swaying and waiting. One guy was drumming his fingers impatiently on the seat directly in front of me at eye level. I wanted to swat at his hand after the first fifty drumrolls. I thought to myself, "What is wrong with you people? Can't you relax?" I wondered if half of these people wouldn't leap onto the platform before the train even rolled to a stop if they were given the chance. I also wondered if they would speed walk or flat out sprint to their cars in the commuter parking lot.

Does it really make sense to leave your seat and jockey for position for five or ten minutes just so you can save fifteen seconds to be one of the first people to exit? Sometimes human behavior is completely baffling to me.

A plug for Daniel Allen, illustrator

I couldn't be more pleased with this year's T-shirt design for New York Outrigger's Liberty race. Daniel Allen rocks. Here are some of his other illustrations. After I saw his portfolio, I thought "This is our artist!" Sure enough, he came through under a ridiculously short deadline as promised. Below is another of his groovy designs, which you can click on to enlarge. Hire this guy.

Why we girls love gay guys so much

I am escaping the city tomorrow for an extendo-weekend to my friend's beach house. He is an awesome water skier and is going to teach me how to do it. He used to shake it on the runway as a Versace model. Not only is he luscious, athletic, and not to mention a brilliant scientist, he is also hilarious -- in other words, the Perfect Man.

Unfortunately for me, he is gay.

Yesterday a story hit the paper about how gay men's brains are similar to straight women's brains. Which explains why I am such a fag hag.

The paper was first published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the U.S.A. but it's in all the newspapers now, first reported by the L.A. Times.

The brains of gay men resemble those of straight women, according to research published today that provides more evidence of the role of biology in sexual orientation.

Using brain-scanning equipment, researchers said they discovered similarities in the brain circuits that deal with language, perhaps explaining why homosexual men tend to outperform straight men on verbal skills tests -- as do heterosexual women.

The area of the brain that processes emotions also looked much the same in gay men and straight women -- and both groups have higher rates of depressive disorders than heterosexual men, researchers said.

The study in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, however, found that the brain similarities were not as close in the case of gay women and straight men.

Garret Dillahunt

Yesterday afternoon I met actor Garret Dillahunt on the street. He of Deadwood, John from Cincinnati, No Country for Old Men, and The Assassination of Jesse James fame was sporting ruffled hair, jeans and a T-shirt. I interrupted my phone conversation and said, "You are the best actor! I love you! Especially in Deadwood! You rock!" and he stopped, smiled, touched his hand to his heart, and blew me a kiss as I walked away. What a lovely man.

Texting your way to love

It seems like whenever I meet a new guy and he asks me for my number, I get all excited that he's going to call. Instead I get texted to death. So I put a put a texting block on the phone, (wrongly) thinking this will solve the problem.

I get an email just now. He writes, "Did you get my text?" UGH! Just pick up the damn phone, guys!

Weird NYC sightings

I live on the border of Chelsea. I thought I'd seen it all in the windows of the gay-oriented sex shops, but this one stopped me in my tracks. Oh. Wow. Does it get any better than this on the bizarre scale?

Actually, yes it does. The same day, I am chowing down a felafel pita outside my favorite new middle-eastern restaurant in the West Village when these women sit down. One was cooing and doing that baby talk thing to what I assumed was human offspring in the pink baby carriage.

Wrong! I almost died when a dog poked its head out. Then as I surreptitiously dug for my camera, it shot me a look that I swear seemed to plead, "HELP ME!" I hate witnessing people turning their dogs into babies. Depriving a dog from its natural instincts to walk, sniff, and socialize with other dogs is cruel. And, you look like a jackass to boot. Cesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer, puts it this way in his article "The Dangers of Humanizing Your Dog:"

Our humanization often leads to what I call "issues." Issues can range from dominance and fear aggression to phobias, anxiety, obsessions, or hyperactive energy. The mixed signals that result from treating your dog the way you would a human child may cause the dog to question his own role in your pack. This confusion can lead him to adapt erratically to ensure the pack's survival, and erratic behavior in any dog is a recipe for an unhealthy relationship.

Choke and Religulous

I'm one of Chuck Palahniuk's adoring fans, and as much as I love the brilliance of Fight Club, not to mention the closely-following-the-book film adaptation, my favorite novel of his remains Choke. So weird. So funny. So disturbing. And finally a movie. Supposedly we have to wait 'til November to see it on the big screen.



And as one of Bill Maher's adoring fans, I was happy to find out my favorite pothead smartmouth political talkshow host has a documentary called Religulous coming out soon. I'm sure it'll be great too, as it was directed by Larry Charles who directed Borat. This one hits the theaters a bit sooner, on June 20th.

Walking over the Brooklyn Bridge

I was tromping around Brooklyn Heights the other day, and since I've never walked over the Brooklyn Bridge, I decided to check this off my list instead of taking the subway back to Manhattan.

The Bridge just celebrated its 125th birthday last month. 600 workers were employed to build it, many below sea level in the waterproof caissons. Over 100 cases of decompression sickness were documented, and the name "the bends" became common around this time because of the way people would bend over in pain. It wasn't until 1878 that a French doctor figured out that nitrogen bubbles in the bloodstream were responsible for causing all the problems, and a slow, steady ascent back up to sea level would prevent the bends from occurring. Even the Brooklyn Bridge project chief engineer suffered the bends and was crippled for three days. From his bed, he directed the project, using his wife as his liaison to the site. And for the rest of his life, he never fully recovered from his accident. The bends are scary. Always do your safety stops when ascending after a dive.

I took my stroll early Thursday afternoon. I was surprised how many people were also walking across, and they weren't all tourists. The walkway starts out as a cement path, but after you pass through the big arches, it turns into an old wooden plank sidewalk. Through the cracks you can see the East River below.

If you click on the pics, the original larger size photo will open up. I love Blogger. Such great features.

The second pic shows the Manhattan Bridge to the north, with the Empire State Building in the distance. The last pic is looking southwest to the Statue of Liberty.

OC-2, the tippy canoe

New York Outrigger bought a new OC-2 (Open Canoe, 2 person) this season, and yesterday I paddled it for the first time. At first I wasn't too hip on going out on the filthy sixty-degree Hudson River in a ten inch-wide boat while it was rainy, chilly, windy, and, almost eight o'clock at night, already dark. But my friend Dorian who is ranked (get this) the 12th best paddler in the world was in town on business, jonesing to get out on the river, and could only paddle last night before leaving the city. What a waste to blow off paddling with someone that good, I figured, so I bucked up and headed to the boathouse.

As Dorian taped some waterproof lights onto the akus, I shivered in the cold wind, surveying the ominous black clouds to the south and the water spraying giant arcs into the air when wakes hit the dock. The thought bubble above my head said, "I hope we don't get mowed down in the dark by a big ferry and sink to our dirty, watery graves." Caution be damned, I climbed into the front seat and we took off.

My wimpy worries disappeared immediately because I was having too much fun. This boat is so zippy fast compared to a six-man, we probably could outrun the damn ferries. We paddled what I consider hard from from Pier 66 down to the North Cove Yacht Harbor and back, about six miles, catching all the waves that came our way. When we took a break at the harbor, fireworks started going off a mile south by the Statue of Liberty. What a cool, unexpected treat. This pic I found shows our view exactly. I wanted to stay and watch the whole thing, more for the rest opportunity than for the aesthetic gunpowder display, but Paddle Boy cracked the whip. While I was halfway spent, he was just getting warmed up. No rest (and no fireworks) for the weary.

On the way back upriver, we were traveling with the current and holy shit, we were cruising! As we passed by a sailboat charter, the passengers (snug and dry in their matching boat-issued raingear) yelled to us, "You guys are movin'!" And yeah, we really were speeding along faster than them. Adrenaline rush. Woo woo!

The one caveat of our little voyage was the precarious balancing act we had to do. Every time we started to huli (tip over), I would SCREAM like a little girl and stop paddling to try to balance it. This totally gay behavior was the result of being so freaked out by the Hudson's filthiness. Contaminants include PCBs, pesticides (DDT too), dioxin, furan, heavy metals, and after heavy rainfalls, a little too much flotsam and jetsam for my liking, not excluding the occasional dead cat floating by. Oh and let's not forget sewage spills in addition to the surface runoff after rainstorms. Paddling crystalline Maui waters this ain't. Anyhow, I think we had the ama rigged weird or too high or something and I am embarrassed to say we did huli five times. Plop. Splash. Pass the tetanus shots. Not kidding.

The first couple of swims were pretty damn funny, but by the last dip around 9 p.m. I was physically tired from paddling fast and hard and all set with being wet, cold, and hauling my tired wet cold ass up into the boat one too many times. Oh happy moment when we finally got back to the dock. I'm sure Paddle Boy easily could have kept on going around the entire island of Manhattan barely breathing heavily while I crumpled into a narcoleptic heap on the dock. But hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and having successfully avoided death, dismemberment and disease in the dark out on the Hudson, I was stronger.

What a blast it is paddling with somebody who knows their stuff out on the water like this guy does. I'm so glad I went out, even if I'm completely spoiled now. Thanks for the invite, Dorian!

Yodelayheehoo

From the land of the Aryans come these two practically lifesize, ultra-realistically dressed culinary ambassadors of exported Alpine food products to my local Food Emporium on 6th Avenue. I walked by the window and did a double take. And every time I've walked by since then, I still laugh. If this is how the guys ripping it up on the peaks of Innsbruck are dressed apres-ski time, I will be severely bumming.

Nice lederhosen, Franz.

Stimulus Check

I got my "Stimulus Check" today, which was stimulating to find in the mailbox. But when our government is 9.4 trillion dollars in debt, should they really be lending us money? Yes, lending, as in you will be paying this back in taxes next year anyway.

Meanwhile, I think the best thing to buy with my 300 bucks is 193 Euros.

Dave Barry on the Economic Stimulus Payment

"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.

"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
"A. Only a smidgen.

"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
"A. Shut up."

How to make a stranger's day

Yesterday, I had just left the gym wearing my "Haole" shirt when this smiling guy stops me on the street and asks me what it means. He's got this great accent that sounded Italian. We start chatting and he says, "You are so bee-yoo-tee-ful. I like your color." I was like, "My color?" He says, "Yes, I am dark, and you are dark too (I think he meant tan), and your hair is so natural, not dyed like so many women with those light and dark streaks like skunk, I cannot stand that." He then tells me he goes to Equinox too, and asks me if I go to the killer hour-and-a-half yoga class, and says how hard it is, and then shows me this New York Times article he's reading and points to the pictures of a farm and says, "Look how nice, all this nature and animals. I would like that." I have to admit the guy's chatty friendliness was starting to grow on me.

He ends with, "I would like to give you my number." I laugh and say, "How many women a week do you give your number to, anyway?" which I thought was funny but the look on his face was hurt, so I felt bad. So I explained how my old roommate Gary in Hell's Kitchen was a master at picking up women on the street and how he came home with a phone number almost every day. Cesar, which was this guy's name, told me, "When I see someone who I think is bee-yoo-tee-ful, I tell her, because life is short, so why not tell her?" which I thought was sweet, so I took his number. He waved goodbye with a big smile and a "Ciao." I thought to myself, "What a cool guy. That must have taken some balls."

In the meantime as this conversation was taking place, behind me leaving the gym was another guy. He had caught up and heard us talking. As I parted ways with Cesar, he was now walking beside me. I said to my fellow gym rat, "I've never even met that guy before. That was so flattering." He replied, "I heard some of what he said. He did seem nice." I told him, "I wish guys would do that more often. Why don't they?"

And he told me, "It's really hard to approach a woman and just start talking. Actually, I wish women would approach me more often!" I asked him, "Wouldn't that seem kind of slutty or desperate if a woman just walked up to you and said, "I find you really handsome, here's my number?" He laughed and assured me just the opposite was true. "Are you kidding? I would love it if a woman did that! Women should do that more often!" So what do I know about men? Obviously not as much as I thought.

So ladies, the next time you see a guy you want to meet, keep in mind that he probably would love it if you just introduced yourself and gave him your number. And guys, don't be afraid to take the Cesar approach, we love it. And whether or not the person calls you, you can be assured that if nothing else, you've definitely made their day a little brighter.