Starfuckers: The lowbrow side of Art Basel

While wandering through Art Basel, I spotted a photographer with a super nice rig snapping a ton of photos. He was walking rapidly backwards, about three feet in front of a couple who were striding toward me. Since he was moving backwards and didn't have eyes in the back of his head, the celeb snapper almost crashed into me. As I put my hand out and darted sideways to avoid collision, I examined the couple he was shooting, trying to figure out who the guy was. The guy looked gay, wore a tasteful perhaps camel hair jacket and great eyeglass frames, and was much older than the trampy blond arm charm wearing a beanie and wrinkles. I figured he had to be some famous artist, but who?

They marched to one particular gallery's area, where a throng of people had gathered around them. I asked some arty guy, "What's with the clusterfuck over there?" and he said, "It's probably Paris Hilton." We both laughed. He asked someone else, and reported back to me. "It's Pamela Anderson," he told me with a straight face. "Are you serious?" I asked, shocked. I thought it was some famous artist! This is what everyone's so amped about?



The guy in the background was the one she'd been walking with. Funny thing was, in the chaos of the near collision with the photographer, I failed to notice that Pammie wasn't wearing pants! WTF?



You can peruse the plethora of Pam's classy Art Basel shots here.


And what's with displaying the weird bruises? Poor Pam, she looks better in the pics than she did in real life. She honestly looked more like this, which is probably why I didn't recognize her.



Too bad celebs aren't allowed to age gracefully. I don't understand why, at 41 years old, she's wearing undies at a highbrow art show. Sad. Even sadder, people got more excited about her than the art itself.