Christmas Cards a la The Onion

Not that I'm pimping out the idea of holiday shopping already, but "Merry Second-To-Last Christmas" is just one of many offensively wonderful boxed Christmas cards you can buy online from The Onion (ten cards for thirteen bucks).

"Jewish Kids In the Window" below, with the Stars of David encircling the "Merry Christmas" written inside, is pretty damn twisted too.

Even better than the New Yorker cover

Barack Obama Tiger Beat Cover Clinches Slumber Party Vote

"Barack is sooooo hot!" said 12-year-old Tiger Beat subscriber Beth Majors upon reading the issue, which included a "supercute" poster of Obama leaning against the Lincoln Memorial and an interview in which he revealed that his most inspirational hero is "you." "He so totally has my support. Obama in '08!"

Obama is expected to remain a solid favorite with the giggling-and-talking-until-4 a.m. voting bloc, as hunky war hero John McCain, his closest contender, is widely considered by the slumber party demographic to be a gross dork.

Courtesy of The Onion, of course.