Sunday, July 20, 2008

The bridal fascinator: a new trend unbeknownst to me

Yesterday I accompanied a girlfriend to the bridal shop as requested so she could get my totally non-expert opinion about a "hairpiece" she was thinking of buying for her wedding day. I said, "Why? You don't seem like the type who would ever get extensions." She laughed her ass off and explained, "No it's a decoration, not hair extensions." I had to laugh too. She told me that bridal hairpieces -- also known as fascinators -- are a trend, propagated mostly by Asian women. Who knew?

I warned her that because I know nothing about bridal hairpieces (obviously), therefore mine was the last opinion she should be soliciting. I thought the hairpiece/avian friend roosting in the updo of Carrie Bradshaw in the Sex and the City movie was heinous, and I told my friend as much. That thing gave a whole to meaning to the throwing-of-the-birdseed ritual after the couple exits the church.

But my friend the bride-to-be thought that my ignorance of bridal fads would lend an air of neutrality to my opinion. So, Miss Switzerland here was ready for the Moment of Truth. We got to the boutique and she modeled the hair thing for me.

HER: Okay tell me the truth.

ME: Wow, it's really . . . something! That's a lot of feathers!

HER: Do you like it though?

ME: Um, well . . .

HER: What do you think?

ME: It's certainly statement-making. It's kind of big. Maybe you should try some other ones on. What about this smaller one?

HER: Do you not like it?

ME: Well, it's not important whether I like it or not. It's really about how much you like it. Do you like it?

HER: I love it.

ME: Then buy it.

And she did. In the end, who gives a shit what anyone thinks? If you want to wear white furry thigh-high platform-soled go-go boots down the aisle, then do it up. I'm all for people making themselves happy. And she was really happy she bought it.

What really blew my mind was the price. This thing, which consisted of a giant fake white flower, white feathers, and some sort of faux pearl-laden popsicle-stick-shaped doohickey, all hot-glued to a hair comb, cost her a hundred dollars! I realized that you could buy these items at Pearl Art and Craft or Michael's, and with a needle and thread and a hot glue gun, you could whip this puppy up for about fifteen or twenty bucks. Make a bunch, take your bridal hairpieces to boutiques, and make a fortune. I think I've discovered a new line of side income.

No comments: