Thursday, January 29, 2009

Cape Cod cop is "wicked pissah." Literally.

Perpetrator/Officer Joseph Houston

It’s not even February yet, but already we’ve found our favorite headline of 2009 in the Cape Cod Times: "Brewster Man Accused of Urinating on Metallica Fan."

There is never anything good in the Cape Cod Times, except for this story which caused me to wonder for a second if I weren't actually reading News of the Weird instead. Here's the whole thing, because it's just too good not to share in its entirety.

BREWSTER – A Brewster police officer is on paid administrative leave after allegedly urinating on a fellow music-lover at a Metallica concert in Boston and then refusing to leave TD Banknorth Garden when security guards ejected him for disorderly conduct.

A Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority Transit Police report from that night identifies Brewster Police Officer Joseph Houston, 29, as being thrown out of the Jan. 18 rock concert by security guards at around 10 p.m.

Although he has been charged only with trespassing, Houston appeared to be drunk, flashed his badge in an attempt to get back into the concert, called a black MBTA officer “Obama,” and had been asked to leave the concert after he allegedly urinated on another patron, according to the report.

Citing an ongoing departmental investigation, Brewster Police Chief Richard Koch would not confirm the officer’s identity but did confirm the incident happened. He got word that Sunday night that an officer had been arrested, went to Boston the next day, on Monday, and immediately placed the officer on leave, he said.

Houston earned $50,456.35 including overtime and detail pay, in 2008, according to town records.

Boston attorney Thomas Drechsler, who, according to court records, is representing Houston in this case, did not return two phone requests for comment today.

Houston’s Brewster phone number is unlisted and he was not at home this evening.

A Boston Police spokesperson said there was no record of any charges filed by her department against Houston. Suffolk County District Attorney’s office spokesman Jake Wark said there were no charges filed against Houston beyond trespassing, which carries a maximum $100 fine and/or 30 days in jail. Houston is due back in court on Feb. 5 on that charge, Wark said.

But Wark said the victim could file charges at Boston Municipal Court where a clerk magistrate hearing would determine the need for a trial. Those charges would not be public until after the hearing.

Rolling Stone writes:

The Cape Cod Times doesn’t elaborate on the details, but we’re assuming it went down like this: An obviously drunk Houston really had to go to the bathroom, but rather than miss even one note of “All Nightmare Long,” he reasoned that the appropriate thing to do was to use the poor guy standing in front of him as his own private urinal. Whatever happened, Houston was booted from the venue by 10 p.m., well before Metallica were finished performing, so maybe actually running to use the restroom would have been the better move.

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